Long Time, No Post

It's been awhile since I posted. The kids are now 6 and 2 and I still want another baby. My sweet husband is very much against adopting again and with the new rules in China and the extended wait, I am not sure adoption is the right answer. Hopefully DH and I will have a decisive conversation about this very soon.

Thanksgiving and a Prayer

Happy Thanksgiving! I do have so much to be thankful for. My husband is a blessing; a man worth the long wait. I have two wonderful, healthy children. In today's world when you read about children struggling with illness and families torn apart because of war, I can't help but to feel extremely grateful for all I have. We aren't cold at night, we eat everyday, we have each other, and we have all we need.

Last night I asked God to either take my desire for third child away or to help me find the resources I need to have a third child. I've prayed before that DH's heart can be moved to want a third child. I will keep praying this and hope that God's will is known to me.

I'm still wantin' and he ain't buyin'

Yep. I still want #3 and DH doesn't. I've joked about #3 and he still says that when we win the lottery, we can have a 3rd child. So my chances are what? next to none.

I'm not giving up. He doesn't really know who he married!

No Where Closer to What?

The kids had great birthdays. The party was fun and the family was fine. In the last few weeks, they both have changed so much. G has decided that she can wash her own hair and she's doing it quite well. I figured it would turn into a greasy mess because she wouldn't be able to get all the shampoo out of it, but she has a system that works for her. P has really started trying to communicate his wants and needs. He points to what he wants and express dissatisfaction if you try to give him the wrong thing. He actually slept to 7:30 am for the past three days. This whole this worries me actually because I've been on vacation and he has gone to bed later than usual.What will happen when he has to start getting up early again?


Status on #3. Nothing has changed. For me or for R. I think I want a third most days and he doesn't want a third most days. I have to admit that sometimes I think it's the stupidist idea I could ever come up with. I struggle being a good mother to the two I have; why would I add another child who needed to be fed, bathed, and changed? I know that R will work late and go in early. He can't help during the week and he can't help on the weekends. Do I want to be a single mommy to three kids instead of two?


I have more questions these days than answers. The one thing I do know is that God will ultimately make this decision and lead me to the correct path. I just have to pray and have faith. Easier said that done for my control freak self. So, as of today, I'm no where closer. If I only knew what I was supposed to be closer to.

Birthdays Are A-comin'

In just a week, my baby will be one year old. It doesn't seem like a year has gone by. He has changed so much and I'm sad that I will no longer have a baby in the house. On the other hand, I'm ready to be finished with the labor intensive part of his childhood. The spoon feeding, bottle making, and constant supervision part that comes with infants and babies. I have loved doing all those things, but I'm ready for him to be more independent.
G will turn five just two days after P turns one. She is such a little girl. Sassy, sweet, and smart. It seems like only yesterday I held her sweet seven month old body for the first time. I look at the pictures of her first birthday and marvel at how fast the time has gone. My sweet baby girl is now so grown up.
R's sister got married this weekend and some old friends asked if we were going to have a #3. I said not an infant, but I'd love to go to China. R commented again that he is too old to have another baby. Someone else commented that he wasn't. Glad to have a second opinion that matches mine!
So I haven't given up. Not by a long shot. Just have to work on my sweet husband. I have a plan.

I've Caught the Bug

I've caught a bug. It's nothing I can't recover from, but boy do I have it bad. No, it's not the flu or a cold. I've got baby fever. Bad.

I'm the mother of two. A daughter (adopted from Kazakstan) and a son (born to us) who mean more than anything to me. However, I can't help but want another child.

When R and I went to premarital counseling we both bubbled in three on the survey when it asked the number of children we'd like to have. I kind of feel like we agree on that before we got married. We would have three children.

Having two is definitely different that having one. It's a heck of a lot of work. I'm tired all the time. I don't feel like I do the kids justice. I feel like I'm only half a wife. I even feel like I don't do a good job with my job. Too much too do, too little time. Yet I constantly come back to having another baby.

Do I want to get pregnant again? Yes and no. I would love to be able to feel a baby move around inside me again. I'd love to give birth again. I'd love to breastfeed again. I don't want to spend months trying to get a full night's sleep. I don't want to stress over when to start solids. I don't want to spend another year of caring for a sick baby who has caught everything coming and going in daycare.

So I guess you're wondering where #3 is going to come from. Simple- adoption. My heart tells me that there is a child out there who needs me as much as I need him/her. A child who has no family and needs one as badly as I need another child.

R isn't big on the idea of a 3rd child. Money- we can't afford one. So I've spent alot of time praying about this. Tonight we ate Chinese and his fortune and mine were sure signs that this is meant to be.
LA's fortune - "You are going to have a new love affair."
R's fortune- "A rich partner is ordained for you."

My new love affair is with this child. Randy's ordained partner is me of course, and I will be so much the richer when I feel my family is complete.

We've got a ways to go, but I think we're heading in a direction!